I Miss You
by Cherry8914
Summary: Remus Lupin leaves behind his friends and loved ones on a mission for Dumbledore, this is how they deal, mainly the love of his life, Leigh Bledsoe. Songfic to Avril Lavigne's When You're Gone


Random songic about Leigh, as usual, and Remus Lupin. Good news all you Leigh/Remus fans! Which are few _ but that will change once the actual fanfic 'Wolf Eyes' is up and ready for people to read. Anyways, that good news? This songic is that too sad...Leigh and Remus are together, he just has to leave for a bit. Woot! ^_^ Remus is asked to leave to speak to a pack of werewolves, leaving Leigh alone and she realizes just how much she needs him.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the characters from Harry Potter. Those belong with J.K. Rowling. Fera Lupin belongs to my best friend Kirby and Leigh belongs to me.

I Miss You

_**I always needed time on my own  
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry  
And the days feel like years when I'm alone  
And the bed where you lie  
is made up on your side**_

Leigh Bledsoe wouldn't call herself a loner – sure, she loved spending time on her own away from others, away from the talk about the war that seemed as though it would never end. And she loved to curl up with a good book in a quiet room, to have time to think to herself. However, she also loved being around her friends, to stay around Number Twelve with Sirius Black and Fera and Remus Lupin. Even though they were adults, when it was just the four of them, they could still be like teenagers. Sirius was still the jokester, even after what Azkaban had done to him; Fera was still sardonic commentator on the world's imperfections, Remus was level-headed, reasonable one, and Leigh was always torn between being amused and agreeing with Remus. Either way, they all still were the best of friends, their bond stronger after everything they had been through.

One thing that Leigh never thought she would need was for someone to be there when she cried. She always hated it when people saw her cry; she preferred to be in her room sobbing quietly. Moving away to the United States and being on her own had made her stronger and more independent. Then she had moved back to England, and suddenly, she was the old Leigh – the one who always needed her friends around, especially Remus Lupin. She had been in love with the werewolf since she was thirteen years old, and even after she had been engaged to Thad, a muggle in the United States, she had never stopped thinking about Remus. The feeling had merely grown after Thad died, and she moved back to England, back to Remus. Then, to her surprise, Remus returned her feelings. Why they had waited so long was still a mystery to both of them. Sirius loved to tease them, for everyone else had known they had loved each other. Only they had been too oblivious to see it.

After admitting their feelings for one another, nothing had been the same - it had been _better_.

Except when Remus was gone. She seemed to miss him more now that she knew he loved her as well.

Leigh stood in front of the bed in the room she shared with Remus. It had originally been her room, and her room alone. However, it now held many of Remus's belongings as well. Her arms wrapped around herself, she realized she had never felt more alone. Remus had been gone for ninety-five days. Why? Albus Dumbledore had thought it necessary to send Remus to speak with a pack of werewolves. He thought that Remus could persuade them to side with them instead of the Dark Lord in the middle of this war. Leigh personally thought that Dumbledore was sending him to his death. Could he really persuade them? The wolves he was going to visit had lived their violent way of life for decades – would they really be ready to change? To stop living so wildly and stay living as human beings? To fight against Voldemort?

Perhaps she was simply a negative thinker, although she tried her best to help everyone else think positively. Why couldn't she take her own advice? Every day seemed longer than the day before. Leigh never remembered days going by so slowly. It seemed as though years had already passed, yet Remus hadn't even been gone one year. Perhaps it seemed longer because they rarely heard from him – they only ever received short, simple letters saying that he was all right and that he missed them all terribly. This worried Leigh and Remus' twin sister, Fera. He wasn't all right, they could tell even by something as simple as a letter. But Remus was smart; he knew how to survive, even if the werewolves were dangerous.

Walking closer to the bed, she sat down, her hand sliding over to the other side – the side that had been empty for ninety-five days. There was no reason for it not to be… Remus wasn't there to sleep in it. Leigh often slept with his pillow, but his side stayed neatly made.

Feeling the tears fill her eyes, she lay down on her side, her hands searching for his pillow to bury her face in – to smell his scent, though it wasn't really there anymore. If she closed her eyes tightly enough, and thought hard enough, she could still smell him as though he had been laying there that morning. She remembered exactly how he had left… how he hadn't told her he was leaving…

_**When you walk away  
I count the steps that you take  
Do you see how much I need you right now?**_

_There had been an Order of the Phoenix meeting that evening, and most everyone had been available to stop by for the hour to hear the latest news on Voldemort. Sirius sat with his arm behind Fera, resting on her chair, and next to Fera sat her brother, his arm around Leigh's shoulders. Dumbledore was announcing the usual, how Voldemort was still growing but they still had a chance. They still had a powerful group and they still had Harry Potter. Leigh felt sorry for the teenager. He had seen so much at such a young age after losing his parents. _

_Leigh had been so lost in thoughts of her young godson that she hadn't fully heard Dumbledore's next words. It was when she felt Remus stiffen that she turned her attention back to the Headmaster._

"_The group of werewolves has yet to be approached by any Death Eaters… that we know of. This is why someone is needed to go and speak to them, to make them see our way of thinking before someone else does so," Dumbledore was saying, staring at everyone over his half moon glasses. Then his eyes turned to Remus, "Remus has agreed to do this. He is the best for the job, seeing as he can reason with them and understand how they feel." _

_Leigh stared at Remus in surprise. The calm look on his face told her that he had known about it, so why hadn't he told her? Why had he kept this from her?_

_He turned to look at her, guilt in his eyes. "Forgive me, Kitten," he murmured softly into her ear before kissing her cheek. "It's something that I must do; it is the only thing that I can do for the Order at this moment in time. I won't be gone long." He had promised her. _

_Fera looked at her twin brother in disbelief. "Why didn't you tell us?" Her accusing gaze turned to Sirius who had stiffened at her words. "He told you?" Her eyes were back on Remus now. "You told Sirius, but not your own sister, or your wife?"_

_Remus shook his head. "This must be done Fera. We can argue about it when I return, if we must."Getting to his feet, he nodded towards the Headmaster. "I will not let you down, sir."_

_Dumbledore nodded solemnly. "Be careful, Remus; we cannot stand to lose another member. All that I ask is that you do your best."_

"_I understand, Headmaster."_

_Then, with a kiss for Fera's and Leigh's cheeks, and a handshake with Sirius, he left the room. However, Leigh was not going to let her husband get away with this. Who knew how long he was going to be gone?_

"_Excuse me!" she said hurriedly, making her way to follow after him. No one made a move to stop her. "REMUS!" she called out, making him spin around quickly, confusion on his face._

"_What is it, love?"_

_She had shaken her head, tears forming in her dark eyes. "I won't allow you walk away like this," she whispered. "What if you don't return to us? To me?" There she went again, thinking negatively. That was the last thing he needed._

_He had shaken his head, his hands reaching for hers. "Shush, don't think such dreadful thoughts. I will return before you know it. Be sure to keep Sirius in line for me."_

_With a snort of laughter, she had begun crying. _

"_Kitten," he whispered hoarsely, his own eyes glistening with unshed tears. Then, without warning, he had captured her lips in such a kiss they had never shared before, full of love and passion, of hope and faith. And then… one… two… three… four… five… six… seven… seven steps, and he was gone._

_Sirius's arms had caught her just before her knees had hit the ground._

_**When you're gone  
The pieces of my heart are missing you  
When you're gone  
The face I came to know is missing too  
When you're gone  
All the words I need to hear to always get me through the day  
And make it OK  
I miss you**_

Leigh had been fine for the first few days…but then suddenly, the days were too long. Suddenly her heart felt as though it had broken into a thousand tiny pieces, and the only person who knew how to fit the pieces back together wasn't there to do so. She had never missed him more; she had never missed anyone this much before. When they had first gotten together – and even now – she had missed him as soon as he left the room… However, then, she'd known when she would see him again. Now she was not so sure if she _would_ ever see him again.

Waking up in the mornings and facing the picture of them that had been taken during their first Christmas together did not help. It was his face, but it was not him. All of him was missing, that face she had come to know and love was missing. She missed the way he would grin in amusement at her when she danced around the kitchen as she cooked. The way he would sigh at Sirius, partly in annoyance and partly amused. She missed everything about him, even his silly obsession with chocolate. She missed it all.

But most importantly, she missed how he always knew the right words to say to her when she was upset, annoyed, or confused. With the war coming closer and closer to them, she needed his words to make it through each day. He could walk into the room and immediately know she was upset by something. He would walk straight over to her, wrap his arms around her, and begin telling her that everything would be alright; that they would win this war, despite the way things were looking at that moment in time. He would tell her that Harry was a strong boy who had his friends and family to support him; that he would survive. It was what she needed to hear. And then they would laugh about how silly she was being afterwards.

Getting to her feet, Leigh made her way to the bathroom to get ready for another day, another one that she would have to face without Remus at her side. Another one where she would force a smile to her lips and help everyone _else_ to make it through the day.

_**I've never felt this way before  
Everything that I do  
Reminds me of you  
And the clothes you left  
they lie on my floor  
And they smell just like you  
I love the things that you do**_

_**When you walk away  
I count the steps that you take**_

Walking out of the bathroom in her robe, she stopped and looked around. The room seemed so empty now. So dull and lifeless.

Making her way towards the closet, she sighed and brushed a piece of hair behind her ear. That simple moment made her eyes fill with tears once again. That simple moment had reminded her of him. The way he hated it when her hair was in her face, covering her eyes. _"They're too beautiful to be hidden," _he had always told her. Her eyes were one of his favorite features about her. Apparently, to him, they really were the window to her soul. She could always keep emotions off her face, but rarely could she hide them from her eyes.

Opening the closet door, she couldn't help but to give a small choked laugh. There lay Remus's sweater from the day before he had left. That morning she had complained about how the floor was not the laundry hamper, and therefore his clothes should not just be laying there. He had promised to pick them up later that day... He never had. Bending down, she picked it up and held it to her face. By some miracle there was his scent: chocolate and books. Keeping it in her arms, she grabbed a pair of pants and undershirt, deciding to wear his sweater that day. The others could think what they wanted about it, but today was one of those days she wasn't sure if she was going to make it through. Most days she could force her way through the day so easily if she kept her mind busy enough... but then there were days that she didn't even want to crawl out of bed to face the world. She wanted to stay curled up with his pillow and pretend that he was right there with her.

The trip down the stairs after dressing had never seemed so long. She had never felt so lonely as she continued walking, her hand trailing down the railing of the stairs. She could do this. He wouldn't have wanted to her sulk around the entire time he was gone... However, she had never missed him more...

Stopping at the end of the stairs, she stared at the spot where she had last seen him. Seven steps and he had been gone.

_**Do you see how much I need you right now?**_

When you're gone  
The pieces of my heart are missing you  
When you're gone  
The face I came to know is missing too  
And when you're gone  
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day  
And make it OK  
I miss you

Entering the kitchen, she smiled weakly as she saw Sirius and Fera cooking breakfast... and arguing over how they were making it.

"Fera!" Sirius was whining, his hand reaching for the wooden spoon in his wife's hand.

With quick reflexes she smacked his hand before he had the chance to grab the spoon from her hand. "No, Sirius," she said calmly, not taking her eyes away from the pan before her.

"Whatcha making?" Leigh wondered, making herself known.

Sirius's face brightened instantly. "Kitten! Pet! Love!" He folded his arms over his chest, the smirk on his lips telling the girls he thought he was about to win the argument he was having with his wife.

"What do you want, Sirius? You know I'm not crazy enough to go against Fera." She winked at her best friend.

"Only he is," Fera murmured, stirring the yellow and white liquid in the pan together.

"Tell my dear wife that this morning, no one wants scrambled eggs for breakfast." The way he said it made it sound like they had been arguing about the most important thing in the world and that clearly, Fera was wrong.

Leigh couldn't help the laugh that escaped her lips. How childish could he be? "Sirius, there isn't a thing wrong with the way she's making our eggs."

Sirius wrinkled this nose. "Today there is."

"Oh, really?" she questioned, raising a delicate eyebrow. "And how would you like your eggs today, Padfoot?"

His wife beat him to the reply. "He wants them sunny side up."

It was Leigh's turn to wrinkle her nose. "All runny? Sirius, that is simply disgusting!"

Fera snorted in amusement. "He knows, he hates them that way."

Leigh glanced at her best friend, frowning slightly. There was something about the look on Fera's face that made Leigh wonder if there was more to it. Sirius loved scrambled eggs as much as Leigh did... In fact... Remus was truly the only one who....

"Oh," Leigh said softly, her eyes going to the floor.

Sirius hung his head slightly. "Moony loves them."

"We know, love," Fera said softly, her eyes turning back to the pan before her.

They were silent after that. Apparently today wasn't only a bad day for Leigh. Remus's twin and best friend missed him as much as she did... maybe. Leigh couldn't help but feel slightly selfish. She missed Remus so much that day that it felt as though her chest were so tight she could hardly breathe. Would it always be this way until he came back? 'Of course it will be... No one can cure this... No one but him,' a small voice in the back of her mind told her. Walking towards the table, she sat down quietly, unsure of what to say as her mind took over. She could see Remus sitting across from her with a plate of runny eggs. Although his face held no emotions as he ate, his eyes showed his amusement. Sirius would always complain as Remus ate them, saying that it was unnatural to eat eggs that way, it was like they were still raw, it wasn't healthy.

Shaking her head, she was brought out of her thoughts by the sound of Fera finishing up and putting the eggs on a large plate for them.

"I miss my brother too, Sirius," she said softly, bringing the eggs to the table.

That was all that was said for another few minutes. Of course she missed her twin. How selfish could Leigh be? They were like one: when Fera was upset, so was Remus; when Remus was hurt, so was Fera. They were so in tune with one another that this had to be killing Fera. She must be missing Remus's ways of doing things as well. Remus always had a way of calmly explaining how they would get through this, the day, the war, anything. Suddenly their group wasn't complete, and it wouldn't be until he returned to them.

Leigh jumped as she heard a sob and the closing of the oven door. Turning around she saw Fera had taken out a pan of muffins from the oven and her shoulders were now shaking with her sobs. Fera cooked large amounts of food when she was upset and Leigh could see the pile of muffins growing, as well as the pile of waffles. Yes, today was a bad day for them all.

_**We were made for each other  
Out here forever  
I know we were  
Yeah Yeah**_

All I ever wanted was for you to know  
Everything I do I give my heart and soul  
I can hardly breathe, I need to feel you here with me  
Yeah

_**When you're gone  
The pieces of my heart are missing you  
When you're gone  
The face I came to know is missing too  
When you're gone  
The words I need to hear will always get me through the day  
And make it OK  
I miss you**_

Sirius quickly wrapped his arms around his wife, trying to comfort her the best that he could. Remus held them all together; without him, a piece was missing from them all. From Fera, her best friend, a part of her, was missing. From Sirius, his best mate was missing. From Leigh, her soul mate was missing. But a piece of each of their hearts was definitively gone, and only Remus could do that to them all.

With tears pouring down her own face, Leigh quickly got to her feet and joined in, making it a group hug. They would make it through this, together. They would always be there for each other, through the hard times and the good times. As the hug continued, Leigh slowly began to feel out of place. Fera needed her husband right now; Leigh would be there for her later when she needed a girl to talk to. Slowly, she crept out of the kitchen and slid up the stairs, her thoughts on Remus.

They were made for each other, there was no doubt about that. Since the first moment they had met, there had never been any awkwardness between them. They were simply friends, which led them to something even greater. Falling onto the bed, Leigh wasn't sure she was going to be able to make it through the day pretending she was fine. Wasn't she allowed one day to cry in bed? Curling her knees to her chest she thought about how hard it was to breathe on days like this. Like each breath was a struggle, it was like he was her oxygen and suddenly that was gone. She never felt this out of control with her emotions when he was around. She didn't want to be alone when she cried today… she wanted him there with her. Because if he were there she wouldn't be crying... She hated crying.

Because of her sobs, she didn't hear the door to her room open and it was only when the bed dipped down that she realized Sirius and Fera had followed her. No words were spoken between the friends as Fera curled up behind her and Sirius behind his wife, his arms reaching over to hug them both.

When Remus was gone, this was what happened. Were they weak? No. Their friendship was simply that strong. When Remus was gone a piece was missing from each of them in a different way. When Remus was gone nothing seemed okay. They needed him… each of them needed Moony back. Because when he was around everything seemed okay...


End file.
